With the passing of the Mayan Calendar/December 21, 2012 date without anything remotely resembling an apocalypse (something which, surprisingly, the Mayans actually did not predict for that date), doomsdayers have been scrambling to determine the next date for the apocalypse. Thankfully, that date has been found.
It seems that the world will end on November 27, 2013.
“It only makes sense,” says Martin Borley of the apocalypse watch group Doomed R Us, “I mean, who really wants to deal with their relatives on Thanksgiving.”
When asked why this particular date was chosen, Borley stated it was obvious.
“The big problem with choosing the date for the end of the world is that, well, the end of the world is so horribly unreliable.” Borley sites failed doomsdays as January 1st of 2000, 1910 (with the approach of Halley’s Comet), and the two failed Raptures of 2011 as proof. ‘December 21st hit doomsdayers particularly hard because of its close proximity to Christmas. Many prepared for the end of the world and not for Christmas, leading to a mad rush for presents on the 22nd.
“With November 27, it is early enough in the year that if the apocalypse did not happen, again, there is still time for people to buy their Christmas presents and wait for the next date for the end of the world,” Borley comments.
But what about Thanksgiving, we asked, wouldn’t a failed end of the world lead to a mad scramble to cook Thanksgiving dinner. “There are a growing number of restaurants who are open on Thanksgiving. All a doomdayer would have to do is make a reservation for Thanksgiving. If the end of the world does not happen, then they are all set, and the help contribute to the economy by dining out.” Borley takes a moment to chuckle, “If the end of the world does happen, there won’t be a restaurant left to care that no one arrived at the reserved time for dinner.”
Naturally, given the historical unreliability of the apocalypse, we did ask Borley if there were any other dates that he was looking at for the possible end of the world.
“Nothing definite yet, but we are looking,” he answered, “We would not be an apocalypse watch group is we didn’t, at least, not a good one (laughs).” When pressed, he did offer a few leads on future dates for the end of the world.
“Beyond November 27, 2013, we have another prediction for January 1st, 2017. We are not giving that date much credence because, let’s face it, a lot of apocalyptic prophets like to use the New Year as the date for the end of dates. We are looking carefully at 2060, which Sir Isaac Newton said would be the end of the world. Beyond that, there are a few Biblical prophesies that predict the next pope will be the last pope, but we are not looking too hard into them since there is not even a definitive year for that.” Borley smiles once more, “Right now, we are focusing on the end of the world being November 27. After that, we’ll see where we go from there.” Borley chuckled, “If it is the 27th, at least Detroit fans won’t have to worry about how badly the Lions will get beat on Thanksgiving.”
- Forget the Mayan Apocalypse, the new date for doomsday is January 1 2017, claim Sword of God cult (dailymail.co.uk)
- Oops Apocalypse (thesun.co.uk)
- PSA: The apocalypse and you (scilogs.com)
- Bye bye Apocalypse, Hello Christmas! (zitronenkind.wordpress.com)
Just in case you were not kick of hearing it all Friday from every news outlet trying to be cute, here’s R.E.M.’s It’s The End Of The World.