More Red Flags
Earlier this week, I posted one of my red flags for online dating. That simple post got a lot of people asking, “Well, do you have any other dating red flags?”
(Actually, no one asked that, but it sounds better to begin that way)
Red Flag #1 – “Hello, I’m from [blank] but I’m now in [blank]
This was the first red flag I mentioned, and the one that has popped up the most for me. Sadly, this stems from a number of online dating connections that have all followed the same pattern. In nearly all of the cases, the individual answers something to the effect, “I’m from California, but I’m currently in Ghana taking care of my ailing mother.” The initial location sometimes varies, and I have gotten a couple of women that have said they are in Nigeria, and sometimes it’s a grandparent, but the story is remarkably similar in nature. In fact, it’s too similar. The odds of running into two women who now find themselves in Ghana because of sick relatives has to he extremely high. I have talked to at least 20 women with this same story. If each of them is telling the truth, then I should head to Vegas and bet my life savings on the green 0.
Speaking of money, many of these individuals had hit me up for money, so many that, sadly, whenever I see the country of Ghana mentioned in casual conversation, I hear Klaxons.
Red Flag #2 – Group Photos in Profiles
It is nice that you want to show yourself with your friends, and on Facebook, that would be perfectly fine. But, on a dating website, it can be a little… confusing. This is especially so if there are no single pictures of yourself on your profile, just group pictures. The red flag on here is a male chauvinist flag. We want to know what you look like. Shallow, yes, but you can learn a lot from the pictures posted on a profile. Group photos do show you are friendly, but they also disguise who you are, which can make some people move on to a profile less confusing. Let’s put it in the most shallow guy way possible: if you look like Kate Upton, and all your pictures are of you and three of your friends, one of who is Jabba the Hutt, the shallow guy will assume that you look like Jabba the Hutt.
As sad as that is, I am pretty certain that if a handsome guy just posts group pictures of himself, his best friend, and his other buddy who looks like Skeletor, women will assume that guy is Skeletor.
Red Flag #3 – Mirror Pictures
It is so annoying to see someone post as their profile picture a shot of themselves holding their phone while taking a picture of themselves in a mirror. Come on, people! You have friends, ask them to do you a solid and take your picture for you.
(and yes, there are still people out there who use the word “solid” in that manner).
Red Flag #4 – The Redirect
A lot of red flags go up when I see someone try to redirect me off the website I’m on to another one. This is especially so when it happens in the first 2 communications. Here’s a hint, I am not going to your pay porn site, your pay dating site, or your pay whatever site, so if you are not really interested, do not get my hopes up.
Red Flag #5 – Misinformation
I have to admit that sometimes I skim profiles, and often will ask questions that are on these profiles. The truth of the matter is that there are who have filled out these profiles, then say things in conversation that contradict what’s on there. We’re not talking little omission things, like forgetting to mention that you like painting toe nail clippings (though, really, thanks for not mentioning that). We’re talking about big things, like saying you have lived in Charlotte, North Carolina all your life when your profile says you are from Duluth, Minnesota. Big glaring mismatches of information set off warning sirens and immediately question everything you tell me. And if there is no trust, there is not much to build on.