5 “Comic Book Fans” I Can Do Without
I’m a little irked right now. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, what’s irking me is not all that bad, but it is irking me.
Thankfully, I can turn my nuisance into something just a little bit better. Thus I present the 5 “comic book fans” I can do without.
- Hoarders – Buying a comic is not a bad thing. Buying two isn’t that bad either. It usually means you either want to preserve one while reading the other, or you forget things a lot. Now, when you do into a comic shop and buy six of an issue, then you are just a jackass. Sadly, this is what happened to me today when two people (that’s right, just 2 people) bought out 75% of my local comic shop’s stock of Walking Dead #106. And, as near as I can tell, there is nothing all that special about issue #106. At least as far as I know, since I did not get a copy because two jackasses bought out most of the store’s stock!
- Surveyors – Back when I used to work in a comic shop (big surprise, right?), there was this one guy who would come in and when he picked up an issue of a book, he would scrutinize the book, looking for any possible imperfection that could possibly be on the book. If there was a micron sized dent on the cover, he would put it back and take another, scrutinizing that as much as the first. It became very obvious to me that this “comic book fan” had no intention of ever reading the book, merely wanting to put it in some hermetically sealed vault on the hopes that it would go up in value.
- Variant Hunters – Variant hunters are a relatively new breed. These “comic book fans” will go from shop to shop with the express interest of purchasing one item. That item would be the one in every 25 ordered special variant cover that some publishers (cough cough Marvel cough) insist on putting out, mostly to boost sales of their books and to provide eBay bait for some person who insists on having every cover of a comic available. First of all, the five covers of that one special issue will not make the mediocre story within that much better. Secondly, all you have become is some migratory hunter, showing no loyalty to any one shop for the sole purpose of picking up a special cover to sell on eBay.
- Fan Boys – There are comic fans, and there are fan boys. Comic fans enjoy reading comics. Fan boys will read whatever a supposed expert tells them is hot. A comic fan will pick up an issue of a comic, read it, then decide whether or not to continue reading it based on the content within. A Fan Boy will continue reading a comic because some website tells him that it is the hot property, even if the story is crap and the art is puke-inducing.
- Trolls – Just like how trolls on message boards will aggressively take on a contrary position simply for the fun of tweaking the other posters, comic trolls will like or dislike a title simply because the majority of the people out there either dislike or like a title. To make trolls that much more fun, they will disparage those people for liking or disliking a title simply because they take some sort of twisted fun in doing so. Trolls are especially fun because they will change their stance based on how people react to what they say. Case in point, I once saw one troll hate Spider-Man in the company of Spider-Man fans, but when I expressed my own hatred of Spider-Man (based on how One More Day played out… I still boycott Spider-Man over that), all of a sudden, he was a Spider-Man fan and I was an idiot for not being one.