5 Things You Won’t Hear This Christmas

the sexy santa assistants were there to take a...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In 1990, George Carlin did a routine called Things You Never Hear, which appears on his album Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics.  As you can expect, the routine had a number of things that no one has ever said.

With this being the holiday season (unless all the doomsayers are right about December 21st), I thought it would be best to take a look at some of the things you will not hear.

  1. (Spoken with full sincerity) “A Chia Pet!  Just what I always wanted!”
  2. (From a child to their parent) “You know, I have enough toys.  Can you just give me socks instead?”
  3. (From a trendy child to their parent) “Mom, don’t you know that they have this same shirt in Target for half the price?”
  4. “We should watch a Christmas movie.  Let’s throw in Fred Claus!”
  5. (Spoken on Black Friday) “After you, ma’am.”
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About chyrondave

Avid comic reader, amateur writer, music fan, and someone with opinions, lots of opinions.

Posted on December 3, 2012, in Lists, Personal, The Fives and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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