5 Things You Won’t Hear This Christmas
In 1990, George Carlin did a routine called Things You Never Hear, which appears on his album Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics. As you can expect, the routine had a number of things that no one has ever said.
With this being the holiday season (unless all the doomsayers are right about December 21st), I thought it would be best to take a look at some of the things you will not hear.
- (Spoken with full sincerity) “A Chia Pet! Just what I always wanted!”
- (From a child to their parent) “You know, I have enough toys. Can you just give me socks instead?”
- (From a trendy child to their parent) “Mom, don’t you know that they have this same shirt in Target for half the price?”
- “We should watch a Christmas movie. Let’s throw in Fred Claus!”
- (Spoken on Black Friday) “After you, ma’am.”