5 Things You Won’t Hear This Christmas

the sexy santa assistants were there to take a...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In 1990, George Carlin did a routine called Things You Never Hear, which appears on his album Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics.  As you can expect, the routine had a number of things that no one has ever said.

With this being the holiday season (unless all the doomsayers are right about December 21st), I thought it would be best to take a look at some of the things you will not hear.

  1. (Spoken with full sincerity) “A Chia Pet!  Just what I always wanted!”
  2. (From a child to their parent) “You know, I have enough toys.  Can you just give me socks instead?”
  3. (From a trendy child to their parent) “Mom, don’t you know that they have this same shirt in Target for half the price?”
  4. “We should watch a Christmas movie.  Let’s throw in Fred Claus!”
  5. (Spoken on Black Friday) “After you, ma’am.”

About chyrondave

Avid comic reader, amateur writer, music fan, and someone with opinions, lots of opinions.

Posted on December 3, 2012, in Lists, Personal, The Fives and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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