People You Meet At The Buffet – Part 12

Spice Market Buffet-Seafood

Image via Wikipedia

Somehow, you managed to survive the waves of people from the congregation, and somehow made it past the lovebirds playfully swinging their joined hands, slowing your approach to the food.  It looks like clear sailing, or does it?

Traffic Cops

Traffic cops think they are being helpful.  And sometimes, they actually are.  Most times, they are just in the way.

The traffic cop, as the name implies, has taken it upon himself (usually a man) to direct traffic to and around the food.  It can be as helpful as letting you pass by while they dwell on whether or not they want to beef stew.  Often, the traffic cop is doing nothing more than facilitating hoppers, cutters and other line disruptors.  Worse still is when the traffic cop actually creates a new line tangent to the real line.  Naturally you know which the real line is: the one that you are in.

“Say, ma’am, did you want to get to the carving station?”

“If it isn’t too much trouble?”

“Not at all, ma’am, all the people behind me are perfectly willing to wait while you and your party go first, even though they have been waiting much longer.”

“Why, thank you.”

“Don’t forget to take the last of the roast beef.”


Everyone has seen these people.  Traffickers are the next step in evolution for tag team deciders.  Traffickers not only are making the culinary decisions for other people in their party, they are actually gathering the food itself.  Often, this behavior can be understandable.  Traffickers are often helping out younger children (often in high chairs), or people who cannot go up to the buffet themselves.  In these cases, the trafficker is commendable.  Even the common practice of bringing a fresh roll to someone who just missed them is acceptable.

The only time that the trafficker can be a hinderance is when they decide to get their food at the same time as the person they are gathering for.  Often this has the trafficker double plating, making for awkward switching of plates while they free a hand to grab the gravy ladle.  This can slow things down.  But, it seems almost acceptable when you realize that they are helping out their wheelchair bound mother in law, and that they probably will not get a chance to eat half of the food on their own plate before they have to get up and get something else.

About chyrondave

Avid comic reader, amateur writer, music fan, and someone with opinions, lots of opinions.

Posted on February 21, 2012, in At The Buffet, Observation, Opinion, Personal, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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